Finally, Lamborghini Has Made a Phone Exclusively for Assholes. Heres the perfect gift for the special someone in your life who cant afford a Lamborghini, but likes to dress and accessorize like they can a 2,4. Alpha One premium smartphone. Per the Verge, this ridiculous money hole posing as a phone clocks in with the most luxurious technologyroughly similar specifications to a high end smartphone that costs less than a third of the sticker priceas well as a liquid metal frame, Italian handmade black leather and the Tonino Lamborghini Raging Bull logo, which symbolizes strength, courage, determination and boldness. It does come with a leather phone case and a cable, but no adapter, because lol. Heres the full feature set, per the Verge 5. WQHD, 2. 56. 0x. 14. Qualcomm Snapdragon 8. Android Nougat. 4GB of RAM with 6. GB of storage and up to 1. Maybe a lot of the players stayed up to watch the fight, Yankees announcer Michael Kay joked while the team tried to sort out the damage with a meeting on the. Heres the perfect gift for the special someone in your life who cant afford a Lamborghini, but likes to dress and accessorize like they can a 2,450 Alpha. GB of expandable storage. Ah battery. Dual SIM card support. Fingerprint scanner. Color me unimpressed. To pose as a real, live fake Lambo owner, youre going to need an entirely different feature set. At the request of our readers, we have compiled a list of every episode. To view the written recap of an episode available for seasons four and up, s elect the. Manchester by the Sea, about a selfpunishing, depressive loner Casey Affleck who slowly comes back to life after enduring a series of brutal losses, is the. James needs to vent, so he decides his housekeeper Sharon Lee, who barely speaks English, would be a good soundboard. While shes polishing his banister, he spouts. Directed by Charlton Heston, Fraser C. Heston. With Charlton Heston, Kim Basinger, Nick Mancuso, John Marley. A couple of youngish adventurers go into the wilderness. Heres some suggestions Axe body spray dispenser. Photo gallery pre loaded with pictures of your definitely real Lambo, which is in the shop, because you pushed it too hard, in an impromptu illegal street race, along uh the scenic Sicilian coast. App which reminds you to call your mom on laundry day. E book of Neil Strauss The Game Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists. A wall adapter, since 2,4. What the hell kind of music do fake Lambo guys listen to Is it DJ Pauly DWell go with DJ Pauly D. Watch Scream 4 Hindi Full Movie. The phone comes with DJ Pauly DWhite House Communications Department parking pass. QR code which, when scanned, allows you to skip the line when you arrive in Hell. Enjoy, fellasThe Verge. Why Your Team Sucks 2. Cincinnati Bengals. Some people are fans of the Cincinnati Bengals. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Cincinnati Bengals. This 2. 01. 7 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team Cincinnati Bengals. Those towels are stronger than you think. Your 2. 01. 6 record 6 9 1. Congrats, Bengals For the first time in six years, you did NOT lose in the Wild Card round of the playoffs. Galactic leap forward. But if youre a Bengals fan still pining for the teams signature touch of consistent nincompoopery, rest assured that Pacman Jones DID tell a cop to suck his dick this offseason. The stability warms my heart. Just got the latest forecast, and it looks promising. Lingering effects of a coronal hole and a tighter connection between the blizzard of electrons and protons. Also, the Bengals had the distinction of subjecting British fans to their first ever tie game. Thanks, Mike Nugent And the Ravens outsmarted them by committing double holding penalties to run out the clock on them. When you want to test out a new, innovative, possibly extralegal way to humiliate an opponent, you do it against the Bengals. Your coach Marvin Lewis. Again. Hey, guess who doesnt like the new celebration rulesIm not for that at all, Lewis, who is on the NFL Competition Committee, said of the change. The Spectacular Now Full Movie. We had a good standard, and the whole standard has always been, you want to teach people how to play the game the correct way and go about it the correct way, and thats not a very good example for young people. My man, somehow I doubt celebrating will be much of a problem for you. Your quarterback Andy Dalton. Again. Lets see how Andy fared without support from wideouts Marvin Jones and Mohamed Sanu Oh. Well, thats not good. Turns out the strategy of hucking every ball at A. J. Green until his legs snap is a misguided one. From here on out, Andy Dalton will be the default comparison anytime a team is reluctantly wedded to a mediocre quarterback for a decade or more. He is an innings eater. Well, Kirk Cousins still throws horrible interceptions, but what are we gonna do Start over No, Im afraid weve been Daltoned. Whats new that sucks Joe Mixon I should have known. I should have known that the Bengals would be the team to suck it up and draft the ladypuncher. Asked how he looks, one Cincinnati staffer answered Like a beast. I bet he does He gets especially beasty if you happen to insult him at a deli. Keep in mind that this team was already in fine shape at running back with Gio Bernard and Jeremy Hill. And yet, those two just didnt have the criminal panache that is requisite if you want to be a True Bengal. Heres Mike Brown tying his tongue in a knot to defend Mixon Hes a young guy. He turned 2. 1 on Monday. The incident that he was involved in was three years ago, Brown said on Tuesday, via ESPN. He made a terrible mistake. He struck a young woman. He hurt her badly. It was a reflexive action in my mind, when I see the tape of it. I just think he acted without thought. But it was a terrible result. Oh, it was a reflexive action Well then that makes it FINE. Im using that from now on. Officer, Im so sorry I shot that street busker to death. But he started playing Hotel California and I had a REFLEXIVE ACTION. Terrible result What other result does Mike Brown expect from a face punch Did he expect daisies to sprout out of the ladys nose when it happened What in the living fuck, Mike Mixon and John Ross were added to help offset the skill position losses that crippled Dalton a season ago. Meanwhile, the offensive line has completely fallen apart to the point where they had to bring Andre Smiths tits back just to patch up the holes. Defensively, they signed the guy the Panthers cut after Julio Jones roasted him for 3. Good thing the Steelers dont have a fleet of speedy and dangerous wideouts who could take advantage of such defensive liabilitiesOne of their former players took his dick out in church parking lot. What has always sucked Bored with cripplingopposing players, linebacker and Big Fan Of The Principals Office Candy Dish Vontaze Burfict has taken up the fun habit of cheap shotting his own teammates Well now, how can you blame this poor wayward soul for the REFLEXIVE ACTION of knee diving during a non contact drill Thats just hard nosed football, far as Im concerned. Anyway, your 2. 01. Bengals are pretty much the same as every Bengals outfit this decade. Theyve got enough talented players to get back to the playoffs and lose in the Wild Card round again. Dalton is inconsistent. Marvin is a clueless goober. Burfict is a shitbag. And presiding over all of it is Mike Brown, a man so cheap he makes Bud Selig look like Rick Ross. Brown wrote an open letter to fans last month, apparently unaware that virtually every Bengals fan is waiting for him to die. Here are a few of the highlights Since we were formed in 1. Nippert Stadium, then at Riverfront Stadium, and now at Paul Brown Stadium. Your asshole stadium took money from schools. Also, I had no idea they once played in a joint called Nippert Stadium. THE BIG NIP. Memories of our first 4. So true. Like the time Chris Henry fell off a truck and died. You have shown us the way to six playoff appearances in the past eight years, including three AFC North division crowns. That did happen. I wonder what happened after they made the playoffs Do you know the worst part of all thisFor all of Mike Browns scumbaggeryfrom looting local coffers to surreptitiously bribing local aldermen to drafting the Joe Mixons of the world to skimping on hiring a formal scouting departmenthe still gets fawning knobjobs like this one from the local press. Mike fought to bring this football family into existence for his father. He professes a unique pride in keeping it a family business all these years. Many others across the league have failed, whether due to finances or in fighting. God man, FUCK YOU. This is a billion dollar franchise and youre treating it like Uncle Pappys General Store DIE. The guy who wrote this tripe goes on to list all the family owned NFL teams, like they belong in the Smithsonian. That list Fords, Browns, Mc. Caskeys, Bidwills, Davises reads like a case for upping the estate tax to 1,0. Mike Brown is a loser who inherited his team from his old man and hasnt won a goddamn thing. The man constantly whines about playing in a small market and wants the big boys to share with him even as he makes absolutely no effort to generate any local revenue. He is a liver spotted turd. But in the NFLs orbit, his deathly grip over this franchise is treated as some kind of wistful throwback. Yes, in an age of smartphones and self driven cars, thank God some things remain constant, like MIKE FUCKING BROWN still being a rich old asshole who deserves to rot on a street corner for time eternity. Real heartwarming stuff. The repo man should have visited this franchise three decades ago. Did you know Cincinnati is a more hideous ClevelandEven Ohio doesnt REALLY want you, Cincy. Also, five U. S. presidents are from there William Howard Taft, Rutherford B. Hayes, Ulysses S. Grant, William Henry Harrison, and Benjamin Harrison. That reads a list of contenders vying to be the second worst President in history. What might not suck Those four games a year where Tyler Eifert isnt hurt MAGIC. Also, I cant hate on your 2. Beats Skyline any day. HEAR IT FROM BENGALS FANS Michael I once saw Mike Brown at a First Watch restaurant. Watch Things To Do In Denver When You`Re Dead Putlocker'>Watch Things To Do In Denver When You`Re Dead Putlocker. He ordered a bowl of soup and asked the server specifically if crackers were extra. Brendan Mike Brown runs his organization as a hybrid of a 1. Hes like if you turned Jerry Jones inside out. Dave Marvin Lewis makes me wish I had more middle fingers. Michael The Cincinnati Bengals are not worth your time anymore. Mike Mark Twain properly defined Cincinnati as always being 1. Our play calling in clutch moments seems to be holding dearly onto that idea. Zach Theyre apparently cool with Pacman being a mentor to Mixon. Jon The Bengals havent won a playoff game since Odell Beckham Jr.