WHEN LOVE IS JUST A FOUR LETTER WORDWHEN. LOVE IS JUST A FOUR LETTER WORDUnderstanding the Borderline Personality. By Shari Schreiber.

L.A. Times entertainment news from Hollywood including event coverage, celebrity gossip and deals. View photo galleries, read TV and movie reviews and more. But what if I tried.? Can you talk to my borderline or narcissistic spouse and explain.? Will she or he someday realize that no one else will love them as.

M. A. www. Gettin. Better. com. The. Borderlines or anyone with BPD traits. If you suspect that you.

Thank you.******If. The great disparity between. Should you believe your lover. You'll reluctantly. Add. to this, the Borderline could make statements to you about needing. I'd. had this happen years ago with a Borderline who engaged my assistance. After only two sessions which went very well, she phoned to say.

As. I validated her concerns and addressed how my methods might not. I'd sensed was her resistance to. That was her own projection. You've. probably gone through this in your own dance with a Borderline. This is. their cognitive. Many Borderlines. Growth brings change, and change is terrifying for them.

Thus, they generally remain pitiful, tireless seekers of. Borderlines. are deeply insecure. They'll act- out their ambivalent feelings. They will do with. A solid/meaningful.

They'll solicit constant reassurance that you won't. Borderlines. bandy about the word 'love' with casual abandon. You'll want to. believe them when they say it- -but not only do they have a distorted. They can easily hide sexual and emotional affairs. You, think again! In. the 1. 96. 4 movie My Fair Lady, Rex Harrison's character sings this. Why can't a woman be more like.

1. Watch 1,150 movies free online. Includes classics, indies, film noir, documentaries and other films, created by some of our greatest actors, actresses and directors.
2. The Borderline of Asperger’s: The similarities and differences between Borderline Personality Disorder and Autism.

Men are so honest and thoroughly square, eternally. Truth is, Borderlines are. They present as comfortable or at ease with their sexuality (and. There are facets of the Borderline that can make you feel like you're. She's forthright, open, easy- going.

She adores all. the things you do, and it feels amazing that this delightful. This. is The Hook of course- -the honeymoon phase of your relationship. You. drop your guard when she says she's "just into something. You want. to believe it, and so you do. I mean, who the hell would turn down. The trouble is, those painful, crazy episodes soon.

You're. hooked, and there's no turning back, despite their push- pull emotional. One of my favorite films. Days of Summer. epitomizes your struggle for emotional consistency and solid grounding. Borderline lover that you'll never have a chance to experience. Showtime Full House Broken Online Free.

A. PICTURE'S WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS. Imagine. that you're sitting in a boat having baited a fishing lure, and. That would be your normal expectation, wouldn't it? Well, the Borderline ignores that lure in the water, and hoists. This is utterly. fantastic for any guy who's insecure, and wants to avoid the possibility.

It's also a. sure thing you can expect a train wreck up ahead, with a borderline. They're predatory.

The only. cure for attraction to Borderlines, is growing genuine confidence. Every. inch of you has been craving that glorious beginning you had together.

I know how much you're wanting it back! It's tough to let that.

Truth is, there may be moments. When. there's no challenge or chase, the capture means nothing. Borderline, which is why so many males get dropped on their. No matter what she says. Hers, she doesn't.

Metaphorically. a well- fed, contented house cat will chase a mouse just for. Once the rodent is captured, if it's. If the mouse struggles to get free of the cat's. This is exactly what happens in your dance with a. Borderline. When you're actually available, he/she is no. IS. IT HIM/HER WHO IS CRAZY, OR IS IT ME??

Borderlines. have major difficulty trusting anyone. This issue is left over from. You can't make this person.

This issue existed way before you. Initially. the Borderline mirrors for you absolutely everything you've always. This is the crux of infatuation. As the relationship gets underway though, they echo how you really. You keep trying to revive that first image. This icky sensation of shame drives.

A. Borderline makes you feel responsible for their deceitful. The truth is, the closer you get to a borderline disordered. This paradox. is due to attachment fears they've carried for a lifetime. They'll. act highly indignant if you question their actual motives, or even.

You. might not have had much experience with real Love during. The initial stages with a Borderline are sublime. You start. feeling as though you've finally found what you didn't even know.

Hence, when he/she begins pushing. I'll just fix the problem, or wait until. Surely they really love me, so this. Before. you know it, sorting. Even if you're not sure you've made an error, your partner's.

No. matter how much you try to resolve or work through this conundrum. They'll never be able to see. They begin. bringing up things about you and your personality that just aren't. Now, you're completely thrown. In short, this little.

THE. ROOTS OF A BPD ATTRACTION RUN REALLY DEEP! If. you've learned as a kid to be an accommodator, and you're. God. knows, your partner isn't willing to own their errors- -and. You might be tempted. Every. person who contacts me for help to recover from these relationships.

This doesn't feel like any other. Sherlock Holmes Tv Series Season 1 English Subtitles. You're raw and hurting- -and the worst part is, you're beating.

A long- held belief might be. If I feel bad in a relationship, it must surely be my. Much. of your confusion and torment might have begun as a child, if you.

Being. wounded by a mother or father, and having the other spouse routinely. Love, distortsyour sense of this emotion, and. Should you doubt your own parent on.

How might you do. Since. you unquestionably loved your parents, even as they were the source.

Borderlines were very similarly. WHAT'S. LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT? Love. is an abstract concept for somebody with BPD (and a whole lotta. The Borderline's.

These difficult. sensations in the child were spawned by unrequited. Could this have also been true for you? The. Borderline carries tremendous toxic shame from never having. They've lived. with sensations of having to buy a parent's.

Perhaps they've. done this with you, as well. Each time they've acted adorable, generous. You. The. paradoxical. Borderline is difficult to wrap your head around, as. For instance. the closer you get to him or her, the more they need to distance. For healthy folks, love and trust grow with time, and intimacy.

With the Borderline, as soon as they feel safe and good. Their survival depends on this. You can't change this. The. Borderline's deep hunger for love doesn't go away, but when you. Infatuation is exhilarating. Real love is a rich, highly sustainable, consistent. Borderline cannot tolerate.

As. an analogy, you might crave a favorite food. You're needing this. After. you eat that meal, your craving is appeased, and you're feeling. With the Borderline, as soon as you gratify their craving.

Given that. love and pain have become entwined for them, someone with BPD believes. Can it be, that you've. This. matter of paradox can be nothing short of excruciating, if we've. Ties that bind can also feel imprisoning. This is like daily looking into a warped. Fun House mirror, and coming to accept that.

The Borderline simply retraumatizes. Self. You. might come to surmise that you're both core- damaged, so. Have you ever observed two little children. Lack of adult development means that conflicts escalate.

Perhaps. you've experienced this with your borderline partner, and you either. A. DEVELOPMENTAL PERSPECTIVE ON LOVE, LOSS AND LOATHING: It. Borderlines haven't wanted love- -it's.

Partners who. occasionally meet their need for closeness are less threatening. Trying. to gain the upper- hand by being someone you're not.

Borderline interested in you, never works. The roots of this are deeply.

If you think you can control this. You cannot win with. Loving. a Borderline means you're always walking a high- wire, which is based. You'll spend a lot of time and energy thinking about how to balance. In truth, the more you give- in to this person. How can they, if you can't respect yourself.

THE. DANCE OF THE DIVAI'm. BPD patient or client. These clinicians have given over.

During. our consultations, I coach them on setting very firm limits and. A rageful, abusive Borderline.

The Borderline of Asperger’s: The similarities and differences between Borderline Personality Disorder and Autism. WARNING: This blog post contains humour, sarcasm, and irony. It is not a scientific article and is based on my own personal experiences, which may offend others. This blog post does not seriously consider ASC to be worse than BPD or vice versa, nor do I personally believe the negative stereotypes associated with either condition. I have attempted to re- word parts of this article, which were being misinterpreted by individuals suffering for BPD, I apologise for any distress my wording may have caused.

For a more serious article on the similarities between BPD and ASC please read the follow up article ‘The Borderline of Asperger’s Revisited’. Emotionally charged meltdowns, intense relationships, superficial friendships, miscommunications and incorrectly assumed intentions.

A lot of people with Asperger’s syndrome could identify with this list. An equal number of those with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) could also identify with this list. With individual’s on both sides being misdiagnosed with the other condition, what are the key differences and how can we tell them apart?

Those with a Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) often present with a pattern of significant impulsivity and instability of affects, interpersonal relationships and self image. This can manifest itself in an intense fear of abandonment and intense anger and irritability, particularly when others fail to understand them. Typically they flip between idealization and devaluation of others, alternating between high positive regard and great disappointment, and frequently display suicidal and self- harming behaviours**. A world apart from the often black and white mechanical thinking of an individual on the autism spectrum, where objects and animals often gain a greater significance than humans, and where other people’s thoughts are not even understood let alone open to manipulation. Yet the functioning of both individuals can appear the same, and frequently those with autism are misdiagnosed as having a personality disorder, particularly BPD, before their autism is recognised*; this is especially true for females. Faced with the choice of BPD or ASD my psychiatrist precariously leant on the side of the former.

Borderline is most common in females and could be considered an extreme form of the female brain, in much the same way that autism has been considered an extreme form of the male brain. So of course being presented with a depressed and anxious patient, who seems to be oversensitive to all forms of treatment and a general pain in the arse (PITA), shoving them into the bracket of ‘unstable female’ would seem like an appealing option. Fortunately for me I had a team of Asper- believers (namely a therapist, my mum, girlfriend and a few friends), and an imminent date with an adult autism assessment clinic to squash those BPD rumours circling my mental health records. What others should have noted was my lack of displayed emotion, my evident self directed anger, and my desperate struggle to please everyone and not miscommunicate as key signs that my personality was not disordered, my entire neuronal network was disordered and I was desperate to gain control over it. So why did they look the same in me and so many other women? Autism expert Tony Atwood believes that this misconception of females on the spectrum comes from their ability to hide their autism better than males, resulting in behaviour patterns which can mimic those with BPD. This is particularly true if in an effort to mask social confusion and appease others, she models herself on someone else to achieve social success; in the unlikely event that that person happens to have BPD then she has no hope of getting a correct diagnosis!

This can lead to fake and forced social interactions, which can lead others to feel she is manipulative and superficial and completely divert away from the fact she has an ASD. On the other hand the Aspie’s experience of bullying, rejection and betrayal can lead to fears of abandonment and intense and unstable relationships with others, mimicking a BPD. Fortunately there are some key differences between the two disorders which set them apart. Watch All Things To All Men Streaming on this page. Firstly, whilst those with Asperger’s Syndrome do not get social cues or misunderstand them, those with Borderline Personality Disorder are hyper aware of them, but can often unintentionally distort them. Whilst both can have impairments when it comes to empathy, those with Asperger’s do not understand the social norms that go with a situation, whereas someone with BPD may exploit and manipulate the situation, again unintentionally. Because of this those with a BPD are often better able to appear sociable.

The manipulation seen in those with Asperger’s derives from an almost obsessive need to control their surroundings and to please themselves. In terms of self- harming behaviour both are vulnerable, typically though those with Asperger’s use it to release inner tension, whilst the self- harming behaviour seen in those with BPD may be more complex. Generally BPD behaviour seems to be a result of defence, usually manifesting itself in late teens and adolescence and commonly developing after a particularly unstable childhood (but not always). As we know (or should know, read more of my blog if not!), those with an ASD are born with the condition, it may only become apparent to others over time but it must have always been there. The danger is in thinking that those with BPD are to blame for their behaviour, and I am the first to admit that my prejudice led me to believe it was an attention seeking disorder.

It was only after I researched the issue and spoke to those who have worked with them and those with themselves with the condition, that it became apparent that those with BPD are no more in control of their behaviour than those with an ASD. There tends to be a lack of awareness on both sides as to why their behaviour has manifested in the way it has, and actually the treatments for both disorders can benefit the other. Neither respond particularly well to medication, but therapy with an emphasis on interpersonal relationships can hold the key.

Particularly work focussed on metallization, which encourages a greater awareness of the intentions of oneself and those around them. Mentalization- based treatment (MBT) was developed with Borderline Personality Disorder in mind, the object of which was to increase the mentalization capacity in patients which should improve affect regulation and interpersonal relationships**. For those Aspies who lack a theory of mind (the ability to understand others mental states), this type of therapy can also be incredible beneficial, even in those like me who, on a much more mild level, just struggle sometimes to interpret the intentions of others. So it seems that BPD is on the borderline of Aspergers in behaviours and functions alone, the gap between the two in terms of origin and mental processing couldn’t be any wider or the two any more diverse. Deemed as ‘incurable’ however, the treatment for both is focussed on behaviours, and because of this the two are still tied together in harmony. If you’ve just scrolled to the end and couldn’t be bothered to read this, someone’s beat me to it and created a much more entertaining video!

Notes. Asperger’s Syndrome, Aspie and ASD all refer to Autism Spectrum Disorders *So I don’t get accused of being biased, those with BPD can also be misdiagnosed with ASD prior to their correct diagnosis**All complicated factual talk came from: www. This is a joke, I’m a researcher, I’ve never touched Wiki)Safety Skills for Asperger Women, forward by Tony Atwoodhttp: //bpdfamily.